Comparison- The Thief of Joy

Hey remember me! Yeah sorry it’s taken me so long to get another post up here. Cohen had the stomach bug and then slowly it moved through everyone in the house. Ick. But I am back and ready to get things moving again. Also did I tell you that my baby who would put himself to bed every night suddenly decided that was not his jam and refused to sleep unless I (not Riley) rocked him to sleep- all to wake up 2 hours after I put him down insisting he sleep in the beh (bed). It’s been a struggle especially since we are all currently living in the same room- but not for long! (more on that later).

Soo.. Let’s jump right into it- comparison. We all do it, but why? Why do we get in such a rut where we are so down on our own lives, self image, finances- that we vicariously live through others? How do we get over comparing our lives to our neighbors, friends, coworkers, even celebrities (eww)?

In short- I don’t know. It’s something I struggle with SO much. Never really as a youth or in my early married life, but definitely in the last 7-8 years I have noticed it’s gotten a little out of control. Usually, it starts off with me having a rough day. It could be anything from dealing with tough toddler emotions, a moody 8 year old who is apparently going on 18, the lack of sleep from having a toddler be awake for hours and hours each night or I see an innocent IG post that brings on the spiral of the “comparison train”.

I bet you are dying to know what I compare my life to, right? Well it’s a short list.

Money, houses, adventures (things people get to do with their buckets of money).

But what I don’t see is the relationships inside those houses, their own money struggles, debts, disagreements, traumas etc.

I live an unremarkable life in the world’s view. I am a stay at home mom with two living kids and one deceased. We are a one income family. We don’t go on fancy vacations. We live paycheck to paycheck. We don’t own our own home. I drive a 2015 car (which I will bury into the ground, I love that thing). I love my husband and he loves me, despite all my flaws. I have two really happy and smart kids that enjoy being around me ALL the time. In short, I think I hit the lottery.

So how do we stop the comparing because I know I cannot be the only one who does it. I looked into it and saw this simple yet beautiful paragraph.

“The Apostle Paul taught that individual members make up “the body of Christ” (1 Corinthians 12:27). Everyone has their own role and contribution to that body, and however big or small our contributions may seem in comparison to others, anything we do in faith can make a difference.”

Seems so simple but in this day of social media and everyone putting their best on the internet and not their worst, we may be feeling like we fall short.

LET’S STOP!

Let’s make a conscience effort right now to slow the comparison train and focus on what we offer to the world. I’ll go first, and its super cringe to praise myself but I am just going to give you one thing that I offer the world.

I love to serve. Whether that is with my time or limited money, I love to serve my fellow sisters. It has always been a favorite of mine because selfishly it makes me feel warm inside. I may not be rolling in money and Riley sometimes gets irritated when I use our limited funds to serve others, but I know I have made a difference in peoples life through my actions. In my limited life experience, I have found that the people with limited funds are usually the most generous.

So what are your strengths and talents that maybe can’t be seen or that you don’t show often?

I have a friend who is an insane listenser and always responds with love and understanding. It’s such a talent.

My mom serves others so well it’s almost hard to witness.

My husband is so hardworking its sometimes nauseating.

My sister is so empathetic that everyone loves her and loves being around her.

So what about you? Let me know in the comments about what you offer to the world!